Friday, June 8, 2007


They are studying the machine. Researchers working with control groups and subjects, it is all clinical and scientific, papers will be published and new theories will be formed.
How long must we talk? How long will I be in therapy, remembering the pain of childhood, the events that created a fear of abandonment, the feeling of isolation?
For years we can live in the cycle of remembering, reliving, repeating, trying to make sense of the past; trying to understand the people we have become.
The clarity of "who we are" has been lost. We have all become identified with the lives of our machine. Is our being Christian or Jewish or Mexican…is our being a football player or ballerina…is our being a photographer or a poet?
It is the machine that felt disappointment from a failed relationship, it is the machine that felt embarrassed or ashamed from an experience, it is the machine that felt isolated.
The being has become identified with the machine, perceiving itself as being the same as the machine. Perceiving the life events of the machine as its own….the being is trapped within this way of identifying. Psychotherapy only adds to this confusion, rehashing life events over and over, using the past as a way of understanding the current state of the machine, not moving beyond the experience of the machine, always remaining trapped.

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