Sunday, September 16, 2012
The Golden Eye
All the others have fallen, somewhere between the sea and the desert there are many corpses, brown hair with waves, blue eyed boys who stare up at the sun without blinking, a mother who has lost her young.
They are there, on the land, in the rivers, boys, brothers. And it is me who climbs these cliffs still searching for the one with the golden eye.
Brother or god? Man and lover, father of life and creation.
I scan the black ravines and wonder if he can see me here on this treetop, my strong thighs gripping the bark as I cling and scan and squint. Birds come and perch on my thin white arms like branches, they sing in my ear little melodies of encouragement.
The black streaked ones sing a melancholic tune, and when they sing my body grows desperate. Perhaps he is gone forever, our father and lover, our king and creator, our leader with the golden eye.
Does he run or is he lost? Does he hide or does he wait to be found?
I am unsure as I take each step, not quite able to read my heart in the clouds. The leaves stir on the parched ground, all red and yellow and crackling beneath my soft footsteps. They are of no help. I can't read them, their silent fortunes are obscure and lost to the wind.
I keep walking, I have been here before, so many times on this search.
Brother, brother- I have written about you before. Father lover, I have written of your name and this search. My fallen kin among the seas and sands, I have written of you in countless pages.
I walk clutching my breasts, yearning for comfort, for the mother that is lost in these trees and shadows. I add my tears to the ocean, lending them only briefly to the trickle of the river.
Perhaps in the next world I will drink my own sadness in a goblet of glass. These steps seem like a very wide circle, so wide it becomes invisible.
My brothers are gone and I continue on, still looking for the man with the golden eye.